I Didn’t Know What To Call This

Its slightly early for a blogpost of this magnitude but such is the current of life at the moment,so i’m just gonna roll with it.

After years of bottling things up, keeping my dysfunctional family under wraps, and pretending.

Lying to myself and everyone around me and telling myself “I’m just coping” …. I’ve finally after waiting so long been referred to CBT therapy & counselling properly though, this time.

People are gonna think whatever their going to think but I couldn’t care less, writing is my therapy and i’m an expressive person. More to the point I do what I want, simple.

I’ve been referred for a while now its just everything has been confirmed and put into place.

To be honest I’m scared, a little wary or cautious as to if CBT therapy or counselling will help.

Not much on my blog is gonna change. Just the fact that i’m not going to hold back on my posts in terms of the topics I discuss (for those of you that bother to read my blog) it was going to take its natural route this way; anyway.

To end just a two messages –

To my interim therapist, thank you for your time over these last few months, and for helping me realise proper, professional help is what I need, I often wonder who is the therapist’s therapist. I just hope I haven’t burdened you in anyway.

Lastly, to my friends: Thank you for always being there, always listening and never judging. I feel guilty at times for burdening you with everything that’s been going on but through it all you’ve stuck by me and done as much as you can, I appreciate you as people so much and a lot of the time with society we always question everything. But you guys have hearts of gold and I love you all so much from the bottom of my heart.

I just want you to know, don’t ever feel like you can’t come to me for anything no matter what it is, don’t ever feel like we can’t talk openly about things that are going on or what we feel.

If i’ve ever put you in a position where you’ve felt like you can’t open up for fear of hurting my feelings or upsetting me. I apologies and i’d rather you were as brutally honest as possible

Just thank you, as everything around me falls apart, you’ve all been my light at the end of the tunnel, kept me smiling, stable and sane. Your more than friends to me .

I guess the rest of this battle is something i’ve got to figure out by myself for myself.

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